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Friday, April 25, 2008

my hair's dyed. so ?

Currently feeling: Sleepy
Currently listening to: Golly Sandra - Eisley


I haven't slept.
I haven't studied that much either.
Wait.
I did study a lot.
I just don't remember that much.
Sigh.

Mr. Sunshine spent fifteen hours accompanying me just now.
He didn't have to.
But he did.
*heart smiles*

Finals started two days ago for me. And OMG, it was a disaster !
I felt that I had studied as hard/much as I could but I still had a tough time answering. Sigh.
But I guess what's done is done and I shouldn't let that hinder me from concentrating on my next papers.
I can !
I'm not really sure I can.

My arse and hips are HUGE now I tell you.
It has been a while since I got into my baju kurungs, and when I did last Wednesday, the kain was tight okay. It was my baju kurung, not my kebaya (which I think would tear if I tried it on right now). Blergh.
Too much sitting on my arse that's why !
I need to walk more, like I used to.
How to walk and study ? Can ah ?

Why do people always judge others by how they look or what they wear ?
How can you assume that a person is (insert adjective here) just by looking at him/her ?
Bukan ke berdosa macam tu ?
But that's a sad fact of life, eh ?
You become a victim of stereotype and discrimination, just because you're different. Just because you're not their type.

I don't like Milo.
I can eat Milo.
I don't like drinking Milo.
Yucks.


I initially planned on writing about something else.
But..
Hmm.

I miss my Gombak people.

I need to do a little more studying, then I've gotta get to bed.
I feel a headache coming on.

xoxo

Thursday, April 24, 2008

one last chance.

Currently feeling: Terrified
Currently listening to: One Last Chance - James Morrison


I've got one last chance to get myself together
I can't lose no more time it's now or never
And I try to remember who I used to be

I've got one more chance to get myself together

I don't wanna be misunderstood
I've got to take this chance and make it into something good

xoxo

deranged.

Currently feeling: Sad
Currently listening to: The Last Goodbye - James Morrison


I've got so much on my mind.
I can't seem to get them out in words.
Sigh.

Focus, Melissa.


I want donuts.

xoxo

Friday, April 18, 2008

that inconsiderate person.

Currently feeling: Tired
Currently listening to: 100 Years - Five For Fighting




I was just about to blog about how I think my odd sleeping hours is taking a toll on me, when I read that.

xoxo

Thursday, April 17, 2008

rebound.

Currently feeling: Reflective
Currently listening to: Looking In - Mariah Carey


I took a hell of a long break from studying yesterday.
A 24-hours one.


Sal came over earlier in the day.

Was so looking forward to meet Baby Si Comel for buka (I was fasting) yesterday, but she was tied up around that time, so she suggested we met up for coffee later in the night, but then Annisa asked me out because she needed a break from her hectic schedule. So I suggested to Baby that we take a rain check.
Baby, next time kita ber coffee together okay ?

So I was out with Annisa, at Subang Parade. Had dinner and coffee.
It's a shitty feeling, seeing a friend in pain, and knowing that you can't really do anything, except offer your presence and words of comfort.


How can you tell whether a person's still in his/her rebound (post breakup) mode ?

Yesterday was very insightful, I must say.
You can learn a lot, by just listening to what's going on in other people's lives.
Some things you hear leave you feeling apprehensive and worried and paranoid.
Some make you realize and appreciate what you have in your life right now.
Some make you really sad.
Some are just huge eye openers.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

(Mary Schmich)

Hmm.

Akey and her boyfriend have officially been together for nine years today, how amazing is that. *heart smiles*
Akey is amazing !

I was on the phone with Mr. Sunshine just now. I made him listen to me rant for two hours. Hee.

Lesson of the day: Never take anyone for granted.

I miss the sister.

The highest expression of love is to give without expecting.
The highest expression of love is to
accept without exceptions.

(India.Arie)

Okay so it's almost 6 am and I need to finish up studying on asthma.

xoxo

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

ultimate hunk list.

Currently feeling: Sleepy
Currently listening to: Never Again - Justin Timberlake


Tagged by Baby.
After giving it much thought (haha), the ones who deserve to be on my five ultimate hunks list are:


No. 5
Paul Rudd
I have been crushing on him since I first watched Clueless, which was ages ago. (since I was 13 I think)


No. 4
Daniel Craig
Aahhh, my James Bond... *dreams away*


No. 3
Christian Bale
The best and the hottest/sexiest Batman, in my opinion.


No. 2
Channing Tatum
Have you seen this guy move ? And those eyes ! Sigh.

My numero uno ultimate hunk would be, none other than,


Chad Michael Murray.
I'm just soooo in love with him. No reason needed. Hee.



I tag Cheryl, Osya, Consuela , Alice, Hanna and anyone else who wants to do this. Hee. (Feli, I think you did something similar to this before, am I right ?)

xoxo

Sunday, April 13, 2008

pump.

Currently feeling: Tired
Currently listening to: Little Black Sandals - Sia


Back from my little outing with Yus.
We were at KLCC. I can't remember the last time I was there.
Despite being unwell, it was fun to get to meet her and talk and laugh and talk and laugh.


This is a photo from last week where I took these people (excluding Yamin) for their first taste of Burger King. Yes, first !


I still don't get it why people wear sunnies, indoors.
And why they push the doors when it clearly says pull. Oh, but then again, they may be illiterate, eh ? So I take that back.

I hate it when zits appear at non strategic places. You know where it hurts even when you make normal movements, like try to move your mouth to talk, for instance.
Okay, okay, I hate zits in general.
But since I have to face the fact that I have and am gonna be plagued with it probably my whole life, I think they (the zits) can at least do me a favour and appear in a less painful manner lah kan.

My webcam doesn't seem to be working. I'm not sure since when but I just realized it last week. Whenever I try to turn it on, this pops up (click to enlarge, please).
Kenapa eh ?
Ah, it doesn't matter. I don't use my webcam that much anyway.

How is it that I drink a whole lot (gila banyak, okay) of water everyday, yet my skin is perpetually dry ?
And I'm just too lazy to apply all these lotions you know.
Speaking about lotions, I'm not a fan of lotions packed in bottles without a pump. They can get really messy especially when I'm the one using it. Disgusting, at times.
But I know they're practical lah kan, you can't carry a bottle with a pump in your bag, unless you intend to moisturize the insides of your bag.

I haven't seen my boyfriend for more than 24 hours now and I think I'm going nuts.
He's not even within 100 kilometers from me.
Long distance relationships are definitely not my thing. I think it has the capacity to kill a person me.
Oi, I miss you like gila banyak okay, cepat sikit balik boleh tak ? Okay, I'm wasting energy, it's not as if he can read this.

I apologize for having to sound like a broken record, I just want people to know that I blog for myself, not for anyone else's entertainment or what not. This is MY blog, where MY thoughts, MY rants are posted, so if YOU think I'm pathetic or need to get a life (like yours ? going around leaving bitter anonymous comments on people's blogs ?), why are YOU still reading this ? Well, in my opinion, you're the one who should be told to get a life, do something better with your time, instead of wasting it acting uncivilized/uneducated. I feel so sorry for you. Sigh.

For someone who has to sit for an extra paper this coming finals, I'm sooo relaxed, eh ? Too relaxed, I think.

Woah, I just ate 8 packets of Cloud 9 within a span of 10 minutes.
That would be my dinner, I guess.

xoxo

seasons.

Currently feeling: Unwell
Currently listening to: Rest In Pieces - Saliva


I was awakened pretty early (early in my dictionary is before noon) by a call by Yus, asking out as she's here in KL.
So I'm going, even with this runny nose and cough of mine.
Gosh, I miss her.

I really should be studying.

Okay, I shall go get ready now.

xoxo

Saturday, April 12, 2008

touch.

Currently feeling: Melancholic
Currently listening to: Umbrella - Marie Digby


I've been wondering how it is that we can easily lose touch with people who have played major roles in our lives. It's actually sad to see how people we love, people we have built relationships/friendships with seem to just drift away after some time, or after certain occurrences.

People can come and go without warning.
Sometimes, due to lack of time and other responsibilities, we simply forget. To make that call, to email, to sms, even if it was just to say hi or ask how that other person is doing.

Are we coming down to replacing long term friendships with short term, disposable, acquaintances ?
It's easy to understand how we can lose touch with people we've only known briefly, I guess, but what about the people who have been in our lives for years, since childhood, for instance ?
How is it that we can so easily let those connections go ?
I don't get it.

I wish I had more time.
To fix loose connections.
To maintain them, and to make sure the important ones stay with me throughout my entire life.

I guess it's not too late to make amends, just as long as I don't lose touch with myself.

xoxo

akey.

Currently feeling: Bittersweet
Currently listening to: War Of Nerves - All Saints


My best friend reminded me that God's tests are for those whom He loves. A test of our faith to Him.
She reminded me that at the end of the day it's to Him that I should be complaining/whining and of course, be thankful to. Allah Maha Mendengar.
She reminded me to ask for Him to grant me patience, strength and courage.

She reminded me that I'm strong. She believes in me. She knows I can.

She also reminded me that I don't deserve to be sad the whole time, and that I am entitled to be happy and enjoy the things I do in life.
She reminded me on how lucky I am to have the circle of true friends that I have. Who have seen me through thick and thin.

I love my best friend.

xoxo

Thursday, April 10, 2008

numbness.

Currently feeling: Shitty
Currently listening to: What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts


I need a lesson on how to be numb.
Because I'm just so very fucking sick of crying.

xoxo

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

awake.

Currently feeling: Bittersweet
Currently listening to: Dear Lie - TLC


I just wanted to talk.
About how these things I have in my head are bugging me.
About this very shitty unpleasant situation I have been going through. (P.S: Thank you, Gan. Sobs.)
About how I don't think I am ready for what's ahead.
I just needed to talk.
But, watching that movie was fine too, I guess.

"Life's simple, you make choices and you don't look back."
(Han, The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift)

Boy, who knew The Fast and The Furious could be so profound.

xoxo

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

black.

Currently feeling: Low
Currently listening to: Berhenti Berharap - Sheila On 7


You know a person's really fat when they dress in black and still manage to look, well, fat.
Hmm.
Hate this.

xoxo

Monday, April 07, 2008

s210.

Currently feeling: Low
Currently listening to: Gravity - John Mayer


I just finished filling in the Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam (SPA) form which my whole class have to submit by tomorrow.
Hmm.

I had a real loooooonnnng day today.

Woke up earlier than usual (feeling and looking bloated) and headed to Bank Islam to settle a few things.
Then I took the bus to KL Sentral where I took new passport photos for tomorrow. They're sooo fugly ! Blergh.
After that, I went back to Gombak with Daddy as I needed to get my birth and SPM certificates. I only found out last night about it, hence the last minute running around.
My next stop was Low Yat Plaza where I got myself a Nikon Coolpix S210. Let me rephrase that, Pojie got me a Nikon Coolpix S210. I decided that the repair was too expensive and not worth it. So yeah, new camera. Funny that I'm not excited as I should be. I feel bad for having her pay for it, but someone has gotta take the blame for it. I just wished it wasn't her. Sigh.
By that time it was already almost 6:30pm, I rushed to Puduraya where I met and sort of picked up Mr. Sunshine who just came back from his hometown. We both walked (and I perspired heavily !) to the Kuala Lumpur Komuter Station and got on the 7:20pm komuter back to Shah Alam. Poor him, his bag was super heavy okay. Boleh patah tangan angkat !
I met Nanab at SACC as soon as I reached Shah Alam. We had dinner together, along with Mr. Sunshine at KFC.

And here I am.
Exhausted.
Confused.
Sad.
Scared.

xoxo

Sunday, April 06, 2008

from his heart.

Currently feeling: Unwell
Currently listening to: Slow Dancing In A Burning Room - John Mayer


Did I ever mention that I love John Mayer ?
Well, I do.
Even more after reading this.

xoxo

open my eyes.

Currently feeling: Melancholic
Currently listening to: Hunter - Dido


Peter Drucker once said, "The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."

If it was not meant to be, please grant me enough strength to get over it.
If this was meant to be, please grant me enough patience to wait.

Open my eyes.
Let me smile.
Please.

xoxo

Saturday, April 05, 2008

from kajang to sacc.

Currently feeling: Unwell
Currently listening to: Stronger Than Me - Amy Winehouse


Hmm.
Wireless at home sweet home.
Cool.

I'm not in a very pleasant mood, but here are some updates from the past week.

So last Wednesday, some of my classmates and I went for some satay at Kajang. Syafiq, Yamin and I took almost two hours to get there because of the heavy traffic.




We felt that it was kinda like a waste, because we went all the way just for a few sticks of satay.
But then, Yamin and I went karaoke-ing right after that.



Eventhough we wished we had more time to sing, all in all it was good.
Thank you, Yamin ku. Hee.

Had lunch with these people yesterday at SACC.


Heart you all !

We talked about how this is our last semester and next week would be the last week we would actually get to meet the class as a whole. Gosh, I hate to admit it but that IS sad.

I miss Mr. Sunshine.

I miss Akey.
I need Akey. Sigh.

I'm gonna be sick.

xoxo

Thursday, April 03, 2008

it's too late to apologize.

Currently feeling: Hurt
Currently listening to: Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis


There are times when saying sorry just doesn't fix things.

You cut me open and I keep bleeding love.

xoxo

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

old.

Currently feeling: Sleepy
Currently listening to: Where I Stood - Missy Higgins


Presentation's over and done. Alhamdulillah.

Exams are just around the corner. Yikes.

Birthday's coming up.
Wishlist ?
The DVD sets to all five seasons of One Tree Hill, please ?
Oh, and a new camera. Preferably Nikon.

Sigh.
I feel old.

xoxo