Tuesday, June 30, 2009

geli me now.

I am on call tonight (yesterday night) again.
Time flew by real fast tonight.
I spent half of the night uploading my engagement photos on my Facebook.
Yes, Ann and I met up and I have finally got my hands on them pretty shots !
Feast your eyes on a few of them ! ;)

Lene did my make-up for the day. I've always told you my sister is hebat.

My hantaran. Done by Sal (mostly) and Lene at the very very last minute. I did mention that they stayed up until almost 6 am that day, right ?

This did not take as long as I thought it would. But my heart was racing while waiting upstairs.

Heart still racing. You can tell just by looking at my OMG-what-am-I-supposed-to-do-now look.

The stubborn ring. Embarrassed me in front of all. My future MIL actually jokingly said, "Dah gemuk kot" when it took so long for the ring to actually fit. Sobs ! Truth is, when we bought it, I tried it on my left ring finger (which is slightly smaller than my right side) and it fitted perfectly. Reminder: Try rings on fingers on both sides in future.

Finally ! Cium sikit. Thank you thank you. :)

Alhamdulillah. InsyaAllah. Aamin. :)

With future MIL and SILs. :)

Family !

Orang orang kuat saya. ♥

Besties. ;)


Family again.

Soon to be Mr and Mrs ! ♥

And I have saved the best for last...

(pardon my grammar, I ♥ my Daddy)

I have about half an hour until my shift is over but I have not rested at all.
I hope I'd be able to drive back safely to Gombak later as I've got a couple of important things to settle.

I miss my sister lah.
It's a peculiar feeling, it's not that we used to see each other everyday as I am here on most days.
But still, I miss her.


Saturday, June 27, 2009

don't stop till you get enough.

Daddy, Marc and I just got back from sending Lene to UiTM Kuala Pilah.
I know it's not as far as Segamat, but I was a bit heavyhearted to leave her there.
It was definitely sad.
I have my worries too but I have to keep on reminding myself that she's gotta learn to cope on her own already.
The campus was pretty nice to me, especially her hostel which has an apartment concept with three rooms, each having two single beds, a study table and lamp and a cupboard. So it's six persons sharing a bathroom, and a living hall which is way different from what I had when I was staying in a hostel in Shah Alam.
Marc and I were telling her over and over again that she was soo lucky !
Kuala Pilah town is about 10 to 15 minutes away from the campus.
I pray she stays strong and perseveres. Aamin.

Michael Jackson's passing is really, really sad.
I would not call myself a fanatic of him but I grew up listening to his music. Almost every song of his links me to a memory I can never forget, can you relate to that ?
And to me, he's a superb performer. Irreplaceable.

Life is so fragile.
I know I am sounding like a broken record here.
But I feel it's always good to keep reminding oneself of the ephemerality of every thing and soul.

I need to brush up on my English verbal ability.
It's atrocious, and it worsens by the day.
It's embarrassing that nowadays I find myself struggling to construct a proper English sentence when Daddy speaks impeccably.
I used to speak way better when I was in secondary school !
How lah ?!

I miss Lene.
Now who's gonna laugh (or pretend to) at my jokes at home ? :(

I am gonna have to work tomorrow.
Gotta get some rest, goodnight.


cermin diri sendiri dengan teliti sebelum menuding jari dan buat tidak endah.

"Thank you Melissa, for the brilliant presentation."

No intention to brag, people. I personally did not think I performed brilliantly.
It was just okay.
Nevertheless, I got through it and I am extremely relieved and thankful to Him.
I have two weeks to complete my research write up.

I have yet to present on my clinical case.

Had a durian eating session with Daddy, Marc and Lene an hour ago and I feel stuffed.

Will be leaving in 5 hours time to Kuala Pilah to send Lene off.
I have sad and happy emotions all jumbled up in me.



Thursday, June 25, 2009

money money money, always sunny, in the rich man's world.

I am at work, dispensing medications and at the same time putting in the final touches to my presentation.
I am just saying 'final touches', I am sure will be touching it again tonight. Presentation is tomorrow ! Don't know whether to be happy that it's all gonna be over and done with soon, or to be nervous.
I emailed a copy of my slides to Mr Sunshine and his response was touching.

"Bangga saya dengan awak. Research dah almost siap walaupun banyak halangan," he said.
I felt tears collecting in my eyes after receiving his sms.


I would not say that I have been going through terrible times
(I know of others who have or are going through worse) but they're not exactly happy times either.

And no, this has nothing to do with my love life. Or work life.
I admit work has not been a bed of roses for me but I am still continuously grateful that I actually have a job and I'm making my own money which is very important. I know all the things I experience everyday at work are invaluable lessons.
Even so, making your own money comes with a whole lot of responsibilities.
I have Daddy, Marc and Marlene, the house bills and expenses etc etc to think about.
With Daddy not getting any younger, Marc still studying and Marlene just starting university, I am supposed to be the one to take charge of everything.
I believe I have failed in providing them with a better life, and I wished I could give more. I really, really wish so. :'(
I am trying.
I already have my expenses planned out until August (the month of Syawal) if you know what I mean, and I cannot relate to those who go on shopping trips every month after pay day.
Whenever an urge to get something comes up, it will usually always be suppressed by the fact that I don't really need it. Hence, I only buy what's really, really necessary.
I am sorry I don't have any new blouses or heels or handbags to talk/blog about every now and then.

I have never had to look for my own money when I was my sister's age. Being young and immature, I worked and quit whenever I wished. I knew Mummy (I miss !) and Daddy were there to provide for us.
Circumstances have changed, and now Marlene has had to work and earn her own money to get her necessities. This fact makes me tremendously sad.
Marc has to refrain from spending too much as he only has his PTPTN money to survive on.
Daddy is now depending on me, Kak Siti and sometimes, Kak Liza.
Daddy thinks a lot. It saddens me that at his age he still has so much on his mind.
I worry about them incessantly. Mr Sunshine would be my witness to this. :'(

Nevertheless I am so truly proud of my siblings for being as strong and independent as they are right now. And Daddy for staying brave and patient through everything.
I pray that in the future we would see brighter days, InsyaAllah.
I believe He has planned all this for a reason.
If we do not taste hardship, we would not know how to appreciate His blessings.

Daddy, Marc and Marlene,
I apologize for being far from a perfect daughter and sister. I am sorry that I have failed to shower all of you with lavishness like I have always intended to and make your lives worry-free. :(
But you know you can count on me to try my best.

I am blessed and grateful to have you three, my best friends (you know who you are) and Mr Sunshine as my huge support system. :)

p/s: This was not meant to gather sympathy from anyone. Just venting. :)


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

were is past tense.

It has dawned on me that maybe you are confused as to who I really am. As a person, and to you.
I am a bit ticked off about what you perceive is going on in my head.
Seriously lah, I have more important matters to worry about.
If you can go on with your daily routine while choosing to ignore and acknowledge my existence as you please, I do not see why it should be any different for me.
I am lost in terms of how to respond to your play of innocence, immaturity and superficiality.
Things change, people change.
We actually grow up and get out of the little bubble you are choosing to stay in.


Saturday, June 20, 2009

perfume anyone ?

Last night was funny, while the four of us were getting so fired up ranting about a particular topic, out came this guy dressed in a black top with hair looking softer than mine.
He came up to us talking in what I thought was Persian or some other language I don't understand. I tried my very best to hold my laughter in by not looking at him.
"I'm from ...........testtsss fragrancess justss wantss yourss opinions"
Something like that lah.

He spritzed the strong-smelling Escada perfume on my hand. The others refused to be spritzed on. Hehe. Told him it the smell was not really to our liking and he left. He took an unusually long time to stuff the perfume back into his bag and leave.
And after he left we all looked at each other and burst our laughing.
Then Feli talked about how nowadays people get conned after sniffing perfume sprayed on them in public. Erk. I felt sorry for forcing her to sniff my hand. I practically shoved my hand in her face.
After a few minutes, a friend of his came up to us attempting to sell another brand of perfume. He spoke better. Hehe.

But the first guy was funny. Haha.

I've gotta go get ready for work.


hate is a strong word but i really really really don't like you.

Good morning.
Hope you all had a good week.
I am working at the Emergency Department today. Will be doing so until 3 pm, then head back to (hopefully) get some rest, and come back to work at 10 pm until 7 am tomorrow.

I am feeling a bit sleepy. I have been yawning countless times since I arrived at 7 just now.
Had an awesome girls' night out at The Curve with Lene, Feli and Judith last night. As a result, I only had 5 hours of sleep.
OK so 5 hours might not sound that bad to you, but honestly, nowadays I can't function well without at least 6 to 7 hours of sleep. Maybe it's the age. Or the fact that I am working. And stressed. I don't know. I feel old.
OK back to last night, the four of us talked, gossiped (gossip, gossip !) and laughed over dinner at Kenny Rogers Roasters. It felt as though time was so envious of us having a good time, because without even noticing, it was already half past 11 pm !
Sigh. But I'm sure we'll get to hang out again like that soon. We must !
Lene cut chopped her hair short, and I think she looks like Winona Ryder. Daddy says she looks like Audrey Hepburn !

Put a haircut like that on my face and I doubt I would look anything close to beautiful.
I told her that she always makes me feel 'hair conscious'.
Here I am sporting the same old hairstyle for ages because I don't have the guts (and face) to do anything to it and there she is getting bangs and pixie haircuts every now and then. I guess I'll just have to face it, my sister's cool and I am not. Hehe.
Oh but my hair does need a trim.

My research presentation is next Friday.
Nope, I am not even near being ready for it. I have not analysed my data.
I think I should be able to do so by Monday. I hope !

I am actually mentally preparing myself for the probability of me having to extend my time as a PRP.
What am I saying, I will never be mentally prepared for that. SIGH !

I had a painful gastric attack last night. :'(
Note to self: EAT, please.

Sometimes I get paranoid about eating.
I don't wanna end up with diarrhea like I did last Wednesday which lasted right up to Thursday evening !
Sigh, my tummy is so mengada.

I just realized that in my previous post I thanked everyone except Mr Sunshine. Errrr, awak terasa ke awak ? Thank you so much awak, tanpa awak, tak ada orang nak bertunang dengan saya. Hee. :)
Thank you kepada mak awak yang comel, ayah awak yang nampak garang and adik-adik awak yang cantik-cantik belaka kerana sudi terima saya jadi sebahagian family in the future, InsyaAllah. :)

Ann has not passed me the photos from the occasion. She has been busy. I was hoping to get to blog in detail about the whole thing with pictures. But I guess it's not gonna happen.
Or maybe there will be a delayed report. :)

It looks like it's gonna pour.


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

officially engaged !

Please forgive me, I just had to join all the typical brides-to-be and add the wedding countdown widget you see above in my blog.
It serves as a good reminder of all the things that has to be done and what little time that is left. *worried*

So, I got engaged last Sunday !
Alhamdulillah. Everything went according to plan. I have never imagined myself being engaged. Ah, so this is how it feels. Hehe.
I have so many people to thank for making my risik cum engagement possible.
Thank you to Daddy, Marc and Marlene, for helping me clean up the house. Lene especially ! She practically cleared the whole house on her own.
Thank you to Sal for helping me with the hantaran deco shopping and making. She did the whole hantaran with a little help from Lene and very, very, very little help from me. My hantaran making process started quite late, around 11:30 pm on Saturday as the whole day was spent clearing the house. Both Lene and her went to bed after 5 am. I slept about an hour before that. But it was worth it, my hantaran was sooooo pretty ! *heart smiles*
Thank you to Stumpy for helping to clear the house too and for bringing extra tables and chairs and for letting me use her beautiful selendang. She also sponsored a heart shaped fruit cake for my hantaran. :)
Thank you to Aunty Leha for the pulut and rendang she made for my hantaran.
Thank you to Annisa for being there and for snapping beautiful photos of the day for me. :)
Thank you to Aunty Maziey for the cupcakes she brought for the guests.
Thank you to Akey, Yati, Azi, and all my relatives who made time to be there on that day.
Thank you thank you thank you all of you ! *heart smiles*

I'm still anxiously waiting to get my photos from Ann. Tak sabar nak tengok. :)

As at Sunday, our wedding date is set for January 9, 2010. InsyaAllah.
I'll let you all know if anything changes. :)

Alhamdulillah. *heart smiles*

People keep telling me to take care of myself and the relationship at this stage.
"Darah manis." "Banyak dugaan."
I hope Mr Sunshine and I will be able to get through anything and everything, InsyaAllah. I can't wait to be Mrs Sunshine !
Mrs Sunshine sounds so aunty-ish.

Do pray for us, ok ? :)

I am at the store this month. Not really enjoying it.
Stock what ? Quotations what ? Tender whattt ?
I feel rather lost and dumb.
I prefer being stressed in the Outpatient Department than here.

Still have loads of work to do.
But I do feel slightly relieved as I have managed to speak to the pharmacist in charge of my clinical and research presentations and got some things cleared up.

I am supposed to be doing some store paper work right now.
Instead, I am blogging, chatting with Ann and Facebooking. Along with dispensing medications lah of course.
I'm multitasking !
And yeah, I am working the graveyard shift tonight. There are not that many patients tonight (as at now lah kan). I was expecting a hectic night with the hazy and H1N1 season.
But Alhamdulillah.

I should start on my work now.
Bubbye !


Tuesday, June 09, 2009

gotta have E71.

My body temperature has returned to normal after almost 48 hours.
I guess I needed the two days worth of rest.
There's still this annoying slight cough but my throat's not so sore anymore.

Faiz had an appointment with a Dermatologist at the hospital last Friday evening. He called me earlier to warn me he'd be dropping by and that he'd be wanting to have coffee plus chit chat with me after work.
And so we had coffee (chocolate for me) at Starbucks, Alamanda. He gave me a tour of his iPhone 3G which I thought was pretty cool but I would not see myself getting one. Not my kinda gadget. I'm more of a E71 or Blackberry Bold person. Hee.

Lene came over later that night and we watched Monsters vs Aliens together. She spent the night here and accompanied me to my fellow PRP, Mizah's wedding last Saturday. I had some work to do so we went to the hospital after the wedding and stayed until almost six in the evening.

Headed to AEON Setiawangsa to look for a few much needed things after freshening up, but went home empty handed. Sigh.

On Sunday Daddy and I went for Lene's Majlis Anugerah Pelajar Cemerlang SPM Gombak (organized by Biro Pelajaran and Hal Ehwal Pelajar UMNO Bahagian Gombak) at Hotel Putra.
The whole thing was a tad boring, but I felt super proud as usual for my little sister. :)
Plus, the food was delicious.

Anndddd I started feeling sick that afternoon. :(

Currently feeling a bit off, received an unnecessary phone call and a couple of annoying text messages. Sigh.

I need to focus.
It's tough. I'm doing one thing but in my mind I'm worrying about another thing.
Stressed nya !

I am so dead.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

rebung reflux.

I have this habit of lying down on my tummy, be it while doing my work, or going online on my lappie.
This habit is bad as I do it even after I eat.
My acid reflux seems to be getting worse.
Plus I cannot stop myself from eating spicy food lah. Non spicy food are just tasteless to me.

I had rebung gravy for lunch without knowing it was rebung gravy.
As I was carrying my plate to the cashier I smelled the strong stench of rebung (pardon me, but I don't fancy rebung) and was wondering where it came from.
Lifted up my plate to my nose and sniffed my food, but well, it was too late.
I think I still have rebung breath.
Sorry, I have no idea what the English term for rebung is.

I fell asleep while lying in an MRI machine yesterday.

I have been having creepy nightmarish dreams lately.
I wonder why.


Wednesday, June 03, 2009

anti emotions.

Sometimes not feeling is the only way to survive.
(The Secret Life of Bees, 2008)


Monday, June 01, 2009


I failed to complete whatever I needed to complete last week.
But I successfully created a number of excuses to why I could not complete them.

I cried so much last week that I had constant headaches every day.

There was this one hour phone call the boyfriend made to me last week which was basically just me sobbing, muttering words he could not make out the meanings of. For the whole one hour.
I PMS like mad.

Putting that aside, I made a very rash decision to take a drive to Kuantan last Friday.
Ok kidding, I took the bus.
I cannot imagine me driving that far alone, at night. Yet.

I know I said that the boyfriend and I were not gonna meet until July but that was when I did not know he would not be working last Saturday. Hee.
So right after work, I rushed to the Petronas station at Precint 9 with hope that there would be Transnasional tickets left for that night.
They were all sold
out but I was lucky enough to have one customer who sold his/her ticket back ! So I managed to get my hands on one 10:30 pm ticket to Kuantan and bought a return ticket from Kemaman too.
I left the house a bit late, rushed to the ERL station, parked my car there and got on the KLIA Transit to Bandar Tasik Selatan and took the LRT to Plaza Rakyat.
I was already texting Mr Sunshine letting him know that I might not be in time. :(
I had a real good exercise that night, power walking to the point my sweat was dripping all over. I gave out evil stares to everyone who stared at me that night. Bengang sikit. Hee.

I reached Puduraya a couple of minutes before 10:30 pm, only to find out that my bus was delayed.
Finally boarded the bus at 11:00pm and reached Kuantan at around 3 am.
I had to wait for an hour for Mr Sunshine to come get me as he had trouble waking up earlier.
We drove to Teluk Cempedak and had an early breakfast at KFC.
I brought my lappie and helped Mr Sunshine with creating his research data collection form. I did some reading on my clinical cases too.

We took an early morning stroll by the beach while it was drizzling. *heart smiles*

He brought me to watch Night At The Museum 2 at Teruntum Complex.
He dozed off halfway through the movie !
I was still hanging on.
The movie was alright lah, I prefer the first one though.

Had pizza for lunch and seafood for dinner. NYUM !
The amount of seafood we ordered was enough to feed four people but we managed to swallow everything up.

Look at those panda eyes !


Keep in mind that I did sleep for more than 24 hours by that time. Awak dapat tidur dalam cinema, tak adil !
But I succumbed to fatigue on our way back to Kemaman.
Mr Sunshine said I was mumbling with my eyes closed. How's that for being nuts ?
Took the 1 am bus reached home at 7 am.

Oh oh, here's a little something for all you Man United fans.

Tak tahu kenapa Rooney bongkok like that.


So that was my exhausting yet exciting Saturday.

Ok so now let's take a look at pictures of my fat legs.

Does not look too bad ? Check out the close ups.

Awful, right ? Itches like crazy, stings like hell.
Most of the time I scratch is when I am asleep lah. :'(

Work tomorrow.