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Saturday, October 09, 2010

all in good time.

I just wasted a bucket worth of tears and two days feeling miserable.

I was walking back from work last Thursday when I decided to give the Ministry of Health's HR department a call. The minute I found out that both Mr Sunshine and my transfer applications were KIV-ed and that the next meeting to reconsider our applications would be at the end of the year, it was as if someone just hit me on the head but I did not feel pain.
I was in a daze.
I sat on the chair in my living room staring into space for about half an hour.
Then the tears started to fall. :'(
So many thoughts were running through my head, about Daddy and how cruel I thought the decision was because I submitted Daddy's IJN doctor's letter along with my application, about work and how it's slowly starting to suck, about my friends who I felt like I am gonna lose if I continue being miles away. :(

:'(

Honestly, I knew it was for the best. Because He always knows best.
But I just couldn't stop crying.
I felt bad for making Mr Sunshine see me in such a disappointing state.
He had ran out of comfort words for me.
He took me out for dinner at McDonald's that night, with intentions to cheer me up.

I had the new and delicious Black Pepper Spicy Chicken McDeluxe.




We ordered the large McValue meal which came with the much missed Spicy McShaker Fries ! Oh so sedap !!


I swear I felt so much better that night. Joking around with Mr Sunshine, watched Grown Ups after we got back, which was pretty hilarious by the way. :D

Thanks to Mr Sunshine and a few comforting words from my family and best friends, I was not crying anymore.
"I am okay, we're okay. This isn't that bad.", I thought to myself before I went to bed.

I thought wrong.

I woke up on Friday morning feeling as though I had a huge brick on my chest.
And the tears started to run (happily ?) down my cheeks.
I woke Mr Sunshine up and asked him all these ridiculous questions like, "I think it's (insert name)'s fault that our application was not approved, do you think so ? Yes it was !!" and said even more ridiculous things like, "I am not gonna be near to IKEA meatballs !!".
All that while crying like a baby.

I decided I needed to go out.
I forced Mr Sunshine to take me somewhere far, anywhere besides Terengganu, please !
Even better if we got to watch a movie !
And so he brought me to watch a movie.
At East Coast Mall, Kuantan !
Had a late lunch at Black Canyon Restaurant. This is our forth time there and we've never not enjoyed the food there.
Mr Sunshine ordered the American Fried Rice (I'm assuming it's Nasi Goreng USA, no ?)



And I had the super spicy and yummy Fettuccine with Seafood and Spicy Paste.



It tastes better than it looks like. Hehe.

We watched Eat, Pray, Love that evening.
Although my eyes were stinging and tired from all the crying I had been doing, I enjoyed the movie very much !
I can't say the same for Mr Sunshine, hehe, but I commend him for staying awake throughout the whole two and a half hours.
"Kalau girlfriend ajak tengok movie macam ini, mesti tak tengok punya," he told me.
What he meant was he watched it with me because I'm his wife and not just a girlfriend of his."
Yes, I found that sweet. :)
I have not read the book yet but I plan to do so soon. :)
The movie not only provided me with some of life's lessons that I needed, but also made me crave for spaghetti ! Hehehe.
Mr Sunshine, either he was being the darling he is or he was just afraid I was gonna end up in tears again (I choose to believe the latter), brought me to the nearest place we could have spaghetti at, which was Pizza Hut !
That's happy, tired and swollen-eyed me with my Spaghetti Bolognaise.

And to end the day, I treated myself to my favourite Baskin Robbins' Pralines and Cream ice cream !



Mr Sunshine went to great lengths to make me feel better and I love him so much for that.






I apologize for being such a nuisance, sayang. :(

At the end of the day, I realized that I have so much to be thankful for.
At least Mr Sunshine and I are living together, and not living in different cities.
I have a job. I have to learn to accept it with all its trials and challenges. Who am I to say that if I move to another place, things will be better ?
Ikhlaskan hati, Melissa.
I have daily internet access, I have a telly with Astro.
I never go hungry.
And even though I won't get my Nando's or IKEA meatballs over here, there's always McDonald's. Hehe.

This might not be the right time for us to move anywhere. We're not exactly in a stable financial situation to do so actually.
Staying here saves us from having to pay extra rent and fork out money for furniture.
I still can have extra snooze time in the morning before work if I want to, since the hospital's only a 5-minute walk away.
Our rezeki is still here, in beautiful Terengganu. :)
I need to start looking at all the good things that this place has to offer.
Allah knows what's best for us.

I won't deny that I am still sad, but grateful at the same time.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. (Al-Baqarah 2:216)

So yeah, I am okay now. We're okay.
This isn't that bad. :)

xoxo

11 comments:

zanariah said...

beb!glad u r ok now!!btw,best eh eat pray love?so wanna watch it!!u shud read the book!!best!!

s.y.a.h.i.e.d.a said...

kak long.. bad to hear that.. tapi everything happen have their own reasons kan? =)

kim salam itu along... heee~

*love*

Melissa said...

Zana: Thanks babe. It comes & goes actually. Hehe. I hope you're feeling better too. :)
Itu lah, when the book first came out memang nak baca, but I don't know why I didn't get it. Hehe.

Syahieda: Yes, everything happens for a reason. Thank you adikku sayang. Love you ! :D

Felicia said...

C'mere you! TIGHHHHT HUGS! I'm so sorry things seem so sucky with you right now and if I knew the way to Tganu I SO would come. So if you have a weekend when you're alone and if we're free we'll make the trek to come see you.

Until then, just remember that you are right, God knows best. Gives thanks in all circumstances and you will only get the best!

Btw kudos to your Sunshine :) Very few ppl have what you do, so GIVE THANKS for that too ;)

HUGSSSSSSSSS!

mieyzaihana said...

Allah ada perancangan yang baik untuk awak. teruskan berdoa.

dan bacalah eat pray love!! i read it twice. love it

-student dr kala :)-

Melissa said...

Feli: HUGSSSSSSSS ! I wish Tganu was not so far away so that I could get some real hugs. :(

Thanks a lot love, I give thanks everyday for people like you in my life. :)
Love you !

Zaihana: Ameen. Thank you so much ! HE definitely knows the best for all of us. Nak pinjam Eat Pray Love boleh ? Hehe. :p

mello said...

stay strong, you. remember the silver lining behind every cloud (:

*hugs*

p.s. your husband is so very sweet!

Melissa said...

Mello, you're back !! :D
I have to admit I was kinda sad when I couldn't access your blog & formspring. :(
Thanks dear, am still searching for the silver lining. Hehe. Hugs.
My husband ? He is ! Hehe. ;)

My Love.. said...

be strong gurl..at least u still got hubby beside u n akak nsb baik parents dok gombak coz hubby jauh..call dlm shari pn susah..msg nk balas pn lagi la.during pregnancy ngan xsihat smpi dh 8bulan ni muntah2..leh ngadu through sms je..n xde reply kadg2 (tp selalunya xde reply!)..just last hope time deliver if awal dari EDD hope hubby smpt fly blk..or biar la jangan awal sgt sbb hubby akak leh bcuti pn smggu before n after EDD jer...

nk call n sms pn mahal tp ok la skrg dekat sket la dari sblm kawin..

So kita bsyukur ngan apa yang ada k..insyaAllah smua akan selamat n dberkati olehNYA..amin :)

rodhiah_rahman said...

hey... didn't know about the call u made. and i went on crapping about staying late during weekends last few days, heh, entah apa-apa je kan.. so sorry i can't be much help.. farmasi tu pun x jejak sgt for the past weeks, u pun perasan kan? anyway, adalah tu hikmahnya di mana-mana... kite x tau, Dia je tau... sabar eh... we got ur back here, babe.. :)

Melissa said...

K.Zurai: I'm sorry to hear abt your condition kak ! Hang in there ok ? I take my hats off to you for surviving the past 8 mths. But syukur family akak dekat kan. Alhamdulillah.
Thanks kak. Ameen. :)

Rodhiah: It's ok dear, I understand you have your hands full right now. Thanks so much k !