Pages

Saturday, November 19, 2011

i resign.

After 90 days of maternity leave and an extra day off, it was back to work for me last Monday. It felt as if it was my first day at work ever !
My memory of how to carry out work tasks were a bit fuzzy that day. Hehe.

I am currently recovering from a hectic past three weeks.
Marc and Linn were solemnized on Friday, November 11th, Alhamdulillah. Lene and I helped with the hantaran preparations. Their solemnization plans were kinda last minute, they got everything done within a month ! Phew ! Long story there, malas nak elaborate.
But Alhamdulillah everything went smoothly, and their reception will be held in February, InshaAllah.

Mr. Sunshine and I. :)

Faira, Aunty Maziey, Lene and I.

Alhamdulillah. Welcome to the family, Linn ! :D


The newlyweds. :)


Family picture - Khayla was getting tired, hehe.
Starting work also meant that I had to send Dian Khayla to a nursery/babysitter. We found a babysitter prior to Aidiladha but didn't have the time to send Khayla over for a 'trial period'. So we started sending Khayla there last Sunday.
I was so fortunate that Lene was still on her hols so she came over to help me with Khayla because Mr. Sunshine was away in Seremban for the whole week.
Surprisingly, leaving Khayla at the babysitter's was not as hard as I thought it would be. I guess all the mental preparation I had been doing worked !
Mental preparation - Repeat after me, "I have no choice, I have to work, and someone else has to take care of my baby. No two ways around it." 
Just two days after taking care of Khayla, the babysitter sent me this:



I immediately broke down, my heart was aching to go pick Khayla up immediately. :'(
I can understand that it's not easy looking after Khayla, I'm exhausted everyday. But to give up just after a couple of days is heartbreaking. Sigh.
Since that text message, my mind wasn't at peace. I would go to work in the morning, wishing that it was 1700 hours already so that I can be with my baby again. It's like I'm letting my baby be taken care of by someone who was not sincere. :(

Mr. Sunshine and I are scouting for another sitter, but as at now we haven't found one. So we'd still have to send Khayla to the same person next week.
I'm trying my best not to worry too much. Not easy !

My situation at work is not helping either.
I haven't blogged about this before because I wanted it to be a surprise but looking at how things are right now, I might as well just tell the whole world what's going on. Haha. (fake laugh)
In June, I went for an interview for a Pharmacist post in UiTM and in August, just a week after Khayla was born, they told me I was offered the post in UiTM Shah Alam's Health Centre. Alhamdulillah. Sounds exciting doesn't it ?
Well, it was exciting until the director of the hospital I'm working at refuses to sign my pelepasan dengan izin application.
For those of you who don't get it, I'm working under the Ministry of Health (MOH), so in order to work with UiTM, I have to resign from MOH and if I want my three years of service in the government to be accounted for, I have to apply to be 'released with permission' a.k.a pelepasan dengan izin. I can just resign because resignation does not need anyone's approval but my three years of service will go down the drain.
I signed my resignation letter and pelepasan dengan izin application in early October and it hasn't been signed by her. She (the director) has no power to approve my application, MOH does, but I need her signature as my Ketua Jabatan. Her reason is that I have to complete my compulsory service which is ridiculous to me because I am not trying to run away from completing it, I am trying to continue the service in UiTM. Recently, after pharmacists were allowed to shorten our three-year compulsory service to one, I thought that would make things easier but nooooo, she still insists that I have to complete my compulsory service first. Sigh. It's absurd that after almost two months, my application hasn't even reached MOH yet !
After discussing with Mr. Sunshine and Daddy, I have decided to just resign. Tawar hati dah !
My three month's resignation notice ends on the 31st of December, so I'll start work in UiTM in January, InshaAllah.


I hope I'm doing the right thing, I hope it's what's best for me. Ameen.

Things are so overwhelming for me right now, physically, emotionally and mentally. I'm such a mess ! *nangis*

xoxo

11 comments:

nAz said...

Dear Melissa, I hope you will doing well. Kind of sad to hear about what happened to Khayla. Be strong Mel! Allah sedang menguji tahap kesabaranmu, semoga terus kuatkan smgt. You have your beloved family and friends. :) InsyaALLAH kebahagiaan & kesenangan itu pasti akan tiba. Ada hikmah di sebalik segalanya.

dinashuz said...

oh god, i almost cried reading dat text from khayla's nanny.. banyak2 sabar insyaAllah u'll find a babysitter who's good with babies and who's truly sincere in taking care of khayla. good luck with d new job... take care dear!

NS said...

Dear, I'm sorry about your baby sitter but dont worry too much yang..InsyaAllah there will a way soon.. :) You are the 2nd person i know resigned heheh I pun dah resigned hehe moving to the City to finish my class and work..Tabahkan hati k? InsyaAllah..everything will be ok :) *hugs*

aidarasyidah said...

Alaaaa sian baby Khayla. Kalau dye whine all day, it wouldn't be called a baby kan? Hehe :DD Be strong :)

mizzyN said...

Your baby kuat nangis ke? Sometimes lain org lain persepsi kan. Kalau kita tahan nape nanny kara bb kuat nangis plak. My nanny pernah jaga bb 3 mnths kuat nangis tapi dia jaga je sbb the baby b4 ni kena bg mnum ubat batuk sbb kuat nangis.

HaiRy AzZy said...

sbr ye... psl nany tu i understand.. my baby pn kuat nangis..in fact the nanny ckp awish la baby yg plg kuat nangis dia pnh jaga for the past 15 years dia jaga budak...tp dia jnis sbr sgt, dia dh fhm my baby nangis drama je, bkn sbb sakit...so dia ok..hopefully urs akan start phm prangai ur baby by ujung bln ni...

psl kja tu, xpela, nk wat cmna...sometimes mmg kna sacrifice skit utk mnde lain yg lbih baik...my hubby pn ada kmgkinan kna buat cm u... sbb dh 8 kali mntak transfer xdpt2... by nx yr dh habis contrak 4 tahun, he might quit too.. yg burn cuma pencen and seniority la.. tp they still need to give u starting salary satu tangga gaji lbih tnggi dr skang...so dun worry k.. ;)

Felicia said...

OMG i have to so much to comment on but im so busy, however -

1. Pray for a good sitter, or at least that khayla gets adjusted to her. prayer makes a lot of difference.

2. OMG DOES THIS MEAN UR COMING BACK?!?!?!?!?!

3. HUGSSSS!


Love u!

My Love.. said...

be strong dik..insyaAllah the decision that u made will be the decision ever..trust me..

so ur hubby will just stay in tganu?

i bet there will be lots of babysitter at shah alam later..lagi dekat ngan gombak dah ni :)

~YUN~ said...

sdih plk bc text bs tu..dont worry mummy,u'll find a good bs nanti,hope khayla doin' well,take care k!jgn nangis tau..**Hugs**

Melissa said...

Naz: Thanks Deeda, I can do this ! Hehe.

Dina: We have resolved the issue with the babysitter, Alhamdulillah. Thanks dear !

Syusyu: You resigned ? Lama dah ke ? Things don't always go the way we want it too kan ? Redha. :)

Aida Rasyidah: True ! Babies can't talk to communicate, so they cry ! :D

mizzyN: Yea, dia mmg kerap nangis sikit lah, hee. Ikut her Mummy kot haha. Bagi ubat batuk ?? Ishh teruknya !

Azrin: Really ? It's good to know that there are other mothers who went through the same thing. Thanks dear ! I pray for the best for you+hubby+baby !

Feli: 1. The sitter has adjusted to Khayla, hehe. 2. YESSSSS !!!!! 3. Hugs and smooches. Love you too !

Zurai: Thanks kakak. Yea, for the time being my hubby will have to stay back in Terengganu. Hopefully it'll be easier to transfer out once I'm in Gombak. :)

Yun: Sedih kan ? Memang nangis gila la masa baca. Iskk, but now dah settle dah, Alhamdulillah. Thanks dear, hugs !

sugarmouse said...

no offense but i don't really get how the nanny could've sent you that. but then again, maybe she was at her wits' end, too. i guess your girl is just too attached to her momma. but rest assured, God doesn't give you anything you can't handle/overcome. it's going to be alright, hun. just hang in there. time is all it takes.

stay strong ♥