Tuesday, June 21, 2011

she's almost 2 kilos now !

anx·i·e·ty   [ang-zahy-i-tee]
–noun, plural -ties.
1. distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune: He felt anxiety about the possible loss of his job.
2. earnest but tense desire; eagerness: He had a keen anxiety to succeed in his work.
3. Psychiatry . a state of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms of mental disorder. source

At 30 weeks pregnant, I am plagued with anxiety 24-7.

I am starting have second thoughts about delivering my baby in a government hospital, no thanks to my brief yet traumatizing (haha) maternity ward admission last week.

I doubt I am capable to withstand the pain which comes along with labour. I have a wayyy low pain threshold.
I am afraid that I would not be able to stop myself from screaming in pain and the nurses/doctor would get annoyed and angry at me and I would get depressed and that would lead to me not having enough energy to push and...............................

I am unsure whether I have it in me to be a good mother. I have never been good with babies. I don't even know the proper way to hold a newborn ! *gasps*
Don't get me wrong, I love babies, but I have never actually had to take care of one.

Ok, I should stop over-thinking things.

But these concerns of mine are normal, right ? RIGHHHHTTTTTT ??


Mr. Sunshine has been away in Kelantan since yesterday and will only be back this Thursday, InshaAllah. As he goes on these work trips pretty often, I have gotten quite used to staying home alone.
This time around, I am slightly nervous, especially because my hospital bag is only halfway ready. We have packed all of the baby's necessities but as far as my essentials are concerned, there are a few more things I need to add in the bag.

Baby's clothes washed and dried. This is just to show how cute and tiny they are !! Hehe.
 My Hospital Bag checklist
Baby's essentials
7 pieces of disposable diapers DONE
2 pairs of rompers DONE
1 pair of long sleeved top & bottom DONE
1 bottle of telon oil DONE
I pack of baby wipes DONE
1 piece of a hooded baby towel DONE
1 piece of a hooded baby blanket DONE
2 sets of mittens & booties DONE
1 set of baby toiletries DONE
1 piece of baby binder (I wonder if I should pack more) DONE
3 pieces of washcloths DONE

Mummy's essentials
2 pairs of blouses -
1 pair of socks DONE
2 pieces of kain batik DONE
3 pieces of nursing bras
1 pack of disposable panties (not too sure whether this will be enough) DONE
Toiletries - cleanser, toothbrush, toothpaste DONE except for my cleanser.
1 Towel DONE
1 pack of maternity pads (I packed my normal sanitary pads) DONE
1 pack of disposable breast pads DONE
1 sweater - I can't fit any of my sweaters anymore ! Haha.
1 instant hijab
Surah Yasin
Antenatal checkup record book

Apparently I should have been done with the packing and the bag should be in the trunk of my car or somewhere near my house door, you know, just in case. *starts to panic*

I should give my back & head a rest right now before I hurt myself.



Red Clutch said...

should put in a car...hahaha... mine dulu x letak dlm keta sbb kononnya due date lg 2 minggu, but then masa teman anep g seminar kt shah alam my baby dah terus nk keluar... lps subuh keluar cecair berdarah then we both calmly drive back to GMC... and sempat beli butterscotch for breakfast coz u gonna lotsa energy to push push push...

Anonymous said...

hey mel,
based on my recent experience..u might want to add on those baby binders..and also disposable panties as the nifas blood will be a lot..i mean A LOT!!which normal sanitary pad won't be able to soak u better get 'em maternity pads coz u really x want to be using the ones provided by the hospital...hope this helps..

btw...juz chill k!!

Aidanisme said...

seronok nya.. hopefully aku dpt rasa jugak nati..

My Love.. said...

30 weeks?? best best...but for me..bag for baby packed when i was 25weeks kot..but utk akak, lagi sejam nk g spital baru pack..hehehe..

GOOD LUCK girl...push push n keep us update k

sugarmouse said...

apparently (according to my mom), government hospital staff have the best&most experience thus it's "safer" to deliver at gh's. but i don't know... i've always had a bad impression that gh staff are very touch&go (cincai) maybe i'm just too atas for my own good but private hospitals still get my vote.

also, if you're looking to get rid of dark circles, Skin Food has a salmon eye line which costs only RM 302.70 alternatively, you could try our Gold Caviar line which actually contains flakes of 24 carat gold!! :D :D :D

JoeJane said...

so agreeing with anonymous. You need to pack yourself with maternity pads.. the flow for first few days is going to be super heavy. U dont want to put on the loops. horror man i tell you.

anxiety in the last trimester is normal. I had that even with our second baby. harharhar. But, that's the thing u see. U need to believe in yourself. Like A LOT!! and i am sure hunter can provide a lot of emotional and moral support. Very very important as well. On top of that, du'a that things will go easy and smooth for you and baby. I think i was more excited to go into labour when i was carrying hamza than with abbas. hehehe.

Ermm.. Dont worry too much okay. Just chill and relax.

ezlinda hisam said...

hope everything is ok..insyaAllah... aa..nak pregnant jugak... huhu...

Melissa said...

Red Clutch: Oh wow, 2 weeks earlier ye ? Nervousnya saya ! I shall remember to eat for energy. :D

Anonymous: Noted ! Will get 'em maternity pads ASAP. Thanks so much ! :D

Aida: Ameen, ameen. InshaAllah dear. :)

K.Zurai: Hee, really ? Ok je ek, I'm panicking for nothing. :p Thanks kak ! :)

Sugarmouse: I guess that's the impression GH leaves most of us with, even for someone like me who works in one ! Haha. Thanks Mel ! :)

JoeJane: Will try my best to remain as calm as I can. Hehe. And am gonna buy maternity pads ! Thanks so so much ! :)

Ezlinda: InshaAllah, Ameen. :)

amElyn said...

u already week 30++??
whoaaa. how time flies eh? congrats n all the best to u..
2 kg baby? hehe. cute!
cant wait for my next checkup n scan!! =)
deliver kat mana?

Melissa said...

Amelyn: Yeah, time sure flies ! My belly's huge now. Hehe. :) Plan nak deliver in Batu Pahat but which hospital tu tak confirmed lagi. :)