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Friday, September 11, 2009

what hurts the most.

I feel so embarassed with myself right now.
I made a fuss over nothing awhile ago.
Well, obviously initially I thought it was something.
My lappie played tricks on me earlier tonight.
I realized that I could not log in to Blogger because when tried to key in my email, after typing the letter 'u', the utility manager kept popping up. Thought it was a problem with Firefox but the same thing happened when I tried to log in using IE.
I reacted how I usually react when I am in a 'crisis',
(and also because I was on video call with Mr Sunshine), by crying.
I was thinking about all the things I have saved in this lappie of mine, I depend so much on it and I cannot afford to have it reformatted or have a virus/trojan attack. :(
I thought my Kaspersky was not working, I repaired it.
I even used System restore. *rolls eyes*
But the problem did not go away.
I was whining on and on to Mr Sunshine.
By that time I was already at work (I am at work now), and then only it started to hit me, it might be something to do with the keyboard shorcut function (duh).
Managed to solve it by deactivating the natural keyboard shortcuts.

-_______________-

I apologized to Mr Sunshine for my incessant whining and making him google this and that. Hehe.
But he's such a darling lah, layankan only my serabut yang tak tentu pasal. *heart smiles*

While I was rearranging my documents and photos on my lappie, I have noticed that I have been taking less and less photos nowadays.
There are times when I simply forget to even take out my camera when I am out. *gasps*
The last time Mr Sunshine came down, we did not take even one photo. Not one.
I do not know what's happening to me but I am not liking it.
It's so sad because I love photos and the memory they help preserve.
Oh sigh.
So from today, I vow to try to become my old self, a camera whore (?).

A few snapshots during Ramadhan.
No food pictures though, sorry, they usually immediately enter my gastrointestinal system before I have a chance to take any pictures of them. *blushes*


Buka with Sal at Secret Recipe, Sogo.

Buka with Ann at Carl's Jr, MidValley Megamall.

Buka dessert. Nyum ! :)

Tired faces of the sister and I.
We were stuck in a jam for more than two hours and berbuka a bit late at OldTown, Jalan Yap Kwan Seng.

Stumpy and I after buka at Nando's, MidValley. :)

Almost a week left to Aidilfitri, InshaAllah.
I have bought some cookies and kerepek for the family.
I'm kinda in a somber mood, the same kind that has been lingering for the last three Aidilfitris.
I know that we're supposed to be happy and grateful on Aidilfitri, but I don't know, I guess everything has not been the same anymore for the past 3 years.
I yearn to feel the excitement of buying or tailoring baju raya, having guests over and visiting friends' and relatives' places.
These days I don't even buy any new baju raya (I'm just gonna wear the ones I have), and if possible I do not want anyone to come over (no offence to anyone). Because it takes me back to how things were, and it's just too painful.
I'm sure some of you (or maybe all) would think I am overreacting.
But that's just how I feel. Have you lost your mother ?
Honestly I have lost the spirit of Raya. Sedih.

I miss your rendang, almond london cookies, pineapple tarts, pandan lychee cake, you nasi lemak.
I just miss everything. :'(


Seven more hours to go. I'm sleepy.

xoxo

2 comments:

The Rewriter said...

*HUGS.

Melissa said...

Thanks Osya darling, just what I needed.
Hugggs back. :)