i don't want to be here.

Our modem decided to die on us last Sunday, so I'm blogging from my phone again.
We'll get a replacement modem by Saturday. Well that's what the guy at the IT store told Mr Sunshine.
No stable internet connection = no blog hopping = no Facebooking = no tweeting.
I was on medical leave yesterday and today because of this persistent headache that has been bugging me. For these past two days, I have been popping analgesics, rubbing axe oil all over my head and oversleeping.
I overslept to the extent I missed a call from my colleague this morning who wanted to check if I could come in to work today as her uncle passed away.
I only found out about it late this afternoon after I woke up. I'm feeling quite terrible now thanks to that. :'(
I have so much on my mind right now, but since I'm having my menses, I think it's just my hormones taking me for a ride.
So I'll keep my thoughts to myself.
xoxo

birthday gift dilemma.

I finally received payment for the claims I made in August. Alhamdulillah.
I have promised myself that I will use some of that money to pay my income zakat (alms) for this year.

October will be ending in a little more than a week's time.
And November happens to be a super special month because three VVIM (very, very important men) in my life were born in November !
Daddy and Mr Sunshine share the same birth date on November 1st (but arwah Atok registered Daddy's birth a day after), and Marc's birthday is on November 26 !

After what Mr Sunshine did for me for my birthday (you can check it out here and here), he definitely set the bar pretty high for me.
Frankly, I don't think I can ever top what he did, knowing that I suck when it comes to surprises or getting gifts for people. :'(
I already got him one of the few gifts I am planning to get, but I have a feeling he already knows what it is and he will just pretend to act surprised when he gets it. Hehe. Kan awak, kan kan kan ?
But at the end of the day, it's the thought that counts and it's not a competition of who gets who the best gift right ?
Ok, I am obviously consoling myself here.

One of my besties, Annisa is planning to make a trip here early next month and I am so excited. Although she won't be staying over at my place but the thought of having someone I'm close to near to me for a weekend is just nice. She also happens to be a November baby ! ;D

Note to self: Don't touch eyes after slicing cili padi.
Ouch.

xoxo

weird

I dislike the feeling I have when I wake up after having a weird dream, especially when it involves people who are no longer in my life (either dead or alive).

Last night was weird.

My lappie has developed a habit of turning itself off without warning, and now I can't seem to use my wireless connection function. I'm back to using the good old cable to go online.
My lappie has gone weird on me.

Word of the day: Weird.

Marc is done wit his Management Trainee stint at Sime Darby. But so far there is no news of him or the others being absorbed, so we'll just have to pray, wait and see. I really hope he gets it. InshaAllah.

I am quite pleased with myself for actually following through with my vow to start making up my fasts as early as I can. So far I have managed to make up for 11 days which leaves me with another 5 more.
If all goes well, after today, I'd be left with 4 days !

I'm having this weird pain at my body's right lower quadrant. Hmm.

I am totally aware that this is a weird and boring post.

xoxo

of supplications.

"Bila ALLAH makbulkan doamu, maka dia menyayangimu,

Bila DIA lambat makbulkan doamu, maka DIA ingin mengujimu,

Bila DIA tidak makbulkan doamu, maka DIA merancang sesuatu terbaik untukmu

Oleh itu, sentiasalah bersangka baik pada ALLAH dalam apa jua keadaan...kerana kasih sayang ALLAH itu mendahului kemurkaanNya"

Wallahu'alam.

xoxo

this is for you, mr sunshine.

Just for being you. ♥

pharmacy unit aidilfitri feast.

It's the weekend again. I'm hoping this weekend will be better for me in the emotions department.

Although it sort of kicked off with me screwing up at work, I'm trying to look past that and learn from it.

I am currently in the middle of doing our laundry, just dried out one batch of clothes and now waiting for another batch to be washed. I thank God for the washing machine existence.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a few snapshots from our Pharmacy Unit's Aidilfitri feast we organised last week.

We had a few cakes which were all finished before I got to taste them. Hehe.

Other mouth watering desserts we served. The one on the right was prepared by Noor ! It's so delicious I tell you.

We had a bowl of tapai (fermented glutinous rice) which was a hit too.

 The Nasi Beriyani we ran out of when guests were still pouring in.

A Raya Feast would not be complete without ketupat and rendang. They usually have ketupat palas for Raya over here.

Our guests. That's Matun smiling so cutely on the right.

L-R: Noor, my ex-boss Kak Nadya, Me, Dr Nadia (the doctor in charge of the male ward which I am in charge of too) and Dr Nik Fauzilah.

The Director of our hospital having a go at our laksa.

Lastly, but not least a photo of the hosts, the pharmacists, Matun, Noor and I. :)

Ok this is making me really hungry.

xoxo

all in good time.

I just wasted a bucket worth of tears and two days feeling miserable.

I was walking back from work last Thursday when I decided to give the Ministry of Health's HR department a call. The minute I found out that both Mr Sunshine and my transfer applications were KIV-ed and that the next meeting to reconsider our applications would be at the end of the year, it was as if someone just hit me on the head but I did not feel pain.
I was in a daze.
I sat on the chair in my living room staring into space for about half an hour.
Then the tears started to fall. :'(
So many thoughts were running through my head, about Daddy and how cruel I thought the decision was because I submitted Daddy's IJN doctor's letter along with my application, about work and how it's slowly starting to suck, about my friends who I felt like I am gonna lose if I continue being miles away. :(

:'(

Honestly, I knew it was for the best. Because He always knows best.
But I just couldn't stop crying.
I felt bad for making Mr Sunshine see me in such a disappointing state.
He had ran out of comfort words for me.
He took me out for dinner at McDonald's that night, with intentions to cheer me up.

I had the new and delicious Black Pepper Spicy Chicken McDeluxe.

We ordered the large McValue meal which came with the much missed Spicy McShaker Fries ! Oh so sedap !!

I swear I felt so much better that night. Joking around with Mr Sunshine, watched Grown Ups after we got back, which was pretty hilarious by the way. :D

Thanks to Mr Sunshine and a few comforting words from my family and best friends, I was not crying anymore.
"I am okay, we're okay. This isn't that bad.", I thought to myself before I went to bed.

I thought wrong.

I woke up on Friday morning feeling as though I had a huge brick on my chest.
And the tears started to run (happily ?) down my cheeks.
I woke Mr Sunshine up and asked him all these ridiculous questions like, "I think it's (insert name)'s fault that our application was not approved, do you think so ? Yes it was !!" and said even more ridiculous things like, "I am not gonna be near to IKEA meatballs !!".
All that while crying like a baby.

I decided I needed to go out.
I forced Mr Sunshine to take me somewhere far, anywhere besides Terengganu, please !
Even better if we got to watch a movie !
And so he brought me to watch a movie.
At East Coast Mall, Kuantan !
Had a late lunch at Black Canyon Restaurant. This is our forth time there and we've never not enjoyed the food there.
Mr Sunshine ordered the American Fried Rice (I'm assuming it's Nasi Goreng USA, no ?)

And I had the super spicy and yummy Fettuccine with Seafood and Spicy Paste.

It tastes better than it looks like. Hehe.

We watched Eat, Pray, Love that evening.
Although my eyes were stinging and tired from all the crying I had been doing, I enjoyed the movie very much !
I can't say the same for Mr Sunshine, hehe, but I commend him for staying awake throughout the whole two and a half hours.
"Kalau girlfriend ajak tengok movie macam ini, mesti tak tengok punya," he told me.
What he meant was he watched it with me because I'm his wife and not just a girlfriend of his."
Yes, I found that sweet. :)
I have not read the book yet but I plan to do so soon. :)
The movie not only provided me with some of life's lessons that I needed, but also made me crave for spaghetti ! Hehehe.
Mr Sunshine, either he was being the darling he is or he was just afraid I was gonna end up in tears again (I choose to believe the latter), brought me to the nearest place we could have spaghetti at, which was Pizza Hut !
That's happy, tired and swollen-eyed me with my Spaghetti Bolognaise.

And to end the day, I treated myself to my favourite Baskin Robbins' Pralines and Cream ice cream !

Mr Sunshine went to great lengths to make me feel better and I love him so much for that.

I apologize for being such a nuisance, sayang. :(

At the end of the day, I realized that I have so much to be thankful for.
At least Mr Sunshine and I are living together, and not living in different cities.
I have a job. I have to learn to accept it with all its trials and challenges. Who am I to say that if I move to another place, things will be better ?
Ikhlaskan hati, Melissa.
I have daily internet access, I have a telly with Astro.
I never go hungry.
And even though I won't get my Nando's or IKEA meatballs over here, there's always McDonald's. Hehe.

This might not be the right time for us to move anywhere. We're not exactly in a stable financial situation to do so actually.
Staying here saves us from having to pay extra rent and fork out money for furniture.
I still can have extra snooze time in the morning before work if I want to, since the hospital's only a 5-minute walk away.
Our rezeki is still here, in beautiful Terengganu. :)
I need to start looking at all the good things that this place has to offer.
Allah knows what's best for us.

I won't deny that I am still sad, but grateful at the same time.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. (Al-Baqarah 2:216)

So yeah, I am okay now. We're okay.
This isn't that bad. :)

xoxo

what does your hubby get for you before he goes outstation ?

Well, my Sunshine left me with these.

Missing in the picture is another can of Coke Light which I finished last night and that packet of M&M's you see is actually almost empty.

How to lose weight like this ? Hehe.

xoxo

dormancy.

Mr Sunshine's on his way to Kelantan and will only be back on Wednesday. InshaAllah.
This house is all mine for the next two nights.

I'm alright. So far.
Alhamdulillah.
Work keeps me busy, and by the time I get back from work I'm usually so worn out, the only thing that I can think of is getting to bed.
Lately, I have been pretty swamped with tasks to complete at work that I sometimes have to bring my work back home. Hmm.

Last Saturday after I was done at work, Mr Sunshine and I decided to go to Mesra Mall, Kerteh to check out the newly opened TGV cinema.
We watched Magika because there was nothing else to watch. Hehe. But the movie was not too bad lah. :)
Since the place was new, we had no complaints. We sat through the entire movie with smell of new furniture around us.
Here's Mr Sunshine with his cute Shin Chan pose in front of the cinema.

As you can see, he was not too happy about being forced to pose in public like that. Hehehe.

I am so inspired by a fellow blogger, Su's weight loss success. I am so round (and flabby) right now, it's not even funny anymore. I wish I had as much determination as Su has !
I am such a sloth.
If I don't watch it, sooner or later none of my clothes would fit me. I do not want to look in the mirror and not recognize the person I see.
So, WATCH IT MELISSA !

Apart from work (loads of drama happening there but I am not in the mood to elaborate), my life's pretty uninteresting in a good way. Get what I mean ?
Alhamdulillah.

xoxo

hello october !

May you bring Mr Sunshine and I good tidings. Ameen.

But if you do not, I must remember to remind myself to always be grateful for all the blessings that I already have and that Allah SWT knows what's best for me.
I have realized that I have to prepare myself for the worst case scenario. But minta dijauhkan, Ameen.
I have to brace myself because I know for a fact there's no way any one of us can change how things are right now and I have no choice but have to break out of  my comfort zone and learn to adapt.

I feel bad for putting Mr Sunshine in a position in which he has to listen to my rants everyday for the past two weeks.
I can't believe it has ONLY been two weeks.

Note: This post is not pregnancy/baby related. :)

xoxo