After months of battling with my emotions, I think I am finally comfortable with the fact that I chose to stop breastfeeding my baby, for the best of baby and I.
Reasons why I chose to do so:
1. Khayla refuses to drink my expressed breastmilk (EBM). She would only want to breastfeed directly. That made it tough for the babysitter, so I started supplementing with formula only when Khayla was at sitter's place.
2. My milk production decreased tremendously after a bout of fever and food poisoning and no Fenugreek or power pumping could do anything to save it.
3. Khayla would get agitated every time she breastfeeds because of the little amount of milk she was receiving. She was so cranky ! Poor baby. :(
4. I was stressed out and exhausted 24-7. When I was breastfeeding, I was stressed because Khayla was stressed and when I wasn't breastfeeding, I was stressed out because I was constantly thinking about my breastfeeding issues. I was always mad at myself. The exhaustion from pumping milk, work and traveling back and forth from Gombak to Shah Alam every day also had its effects on my emotional well being.
Khayla is less cranky now that she doesn't have to work so hard to get milk when she's hungry, she has been sleeping throughout the night ever since, and is a really active and healthy baby.
I have now realized that doing what is best for my child means understanding what is best for me too. Sometimes it's about what I am comfortable with. If I am not happy, and stressed out all the time, how am I supposed to raise my baby to be a happy baby ? I believe in raising my child in a loving, stable environment and providing her with a good education. That's infinitely more important than whether I choose breastmilk or formula.
In my case I can say that this decision has helped me physically and mentally.
Yes, breastmilk is the best milk, but formula isn't that bad either.
Only Allah knows how much I miss breastfeeding, but I've gotta be strong because I'm a mother now. :)
To all mothers who feel pressured to breastfeed, or have tried to breastfeeding with little/no success, don't fret ! At the end of the day, it is YOUR decision, YOU are the mother of your child and YOU have the right to determine what you want to feed her with. Breastmilk is rezeki from Allah, and as for all other rezekis HE blesses us with, HE can take it back whenever HE wants. You should not feel guilty or inferior !
And finally, let's get something straight, opting to formula feed does not mean your baby will be prone or have less immunity to illness !
xoxo
5 comments:
sedih je baca. xpe,yang penting baby khayla happy selalu ;)
At the end of the day, what works for us is all that matters.
i agree so much with u.at least u did it for 7 months..i quit earlier for almost the same issues.i wana enjoy my baby..not sigh evrytime she cries for milk.n she's healthy n developing very well n fast too now:)
Dont b sad mummy,yun pn dulu stressed bila susu kurang..xpe,we know what s the best for our baby kan..hugsss!! :)
Hafizhuda: Itu lah, sedih sgt. :'( Yeah, yang penting dia sihat & happy. :)
MizzyN: Yes, that's right !
Sabbyness: Alhamdulillah, formula fed babies can thrive too ! :)
Yun: Kan, sedih & stressed sgt2 kan. Betul tu Yun, we have the right to determine what's best for our baby. :) HUGGGGS !
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